Understanding Night Terrors 

In the second of our two blogs on nightmares and night terrors, we look at understanding night terrors and ways to minimise their impact. Most children have the odd nightmare, where they wake suddenly, remember what scared them and want comforting, however night terrors are very different. They are far less common, children do not remember them and they will not want comforting as they are unaware of what is happening.  

Night terrors occur in the first 2-3 hours of falling asleep, when a child is in a much deeper part of their sleep cycle. It is thought that they happen during the shift from one sleep cycle to another and they have been described as a reaction to feelings of fear, rather than fear itself. They are hard to watch. A child is seen to become distressed and afraid. They may shout out, thrash around, sweat, suddenly sit bolt upright in bed and get very agitated. Their eyes may be open – which can be disconcerting, but they will not want comforting as they are not aware of what is going on or that you are there. How long they last can vary, but they can take 15 – 20 minutes to pass. Eventually the child settles down and goes back into a restful sleep, more often than not leaving their parent, worried and upset. In the morning, the child will have no recollection of what happened.

Night terrors are more likely to happen in children aged between 3 and 9 years old. This is because the central nervous system which regulates sleep and brain activity is still immature. As children grow, and the central nervous system develops, the instances of night terrors decreases, eventually stopping all together. Research has shown that night terrors appear to be more prevalent in some families rather than others. There are also links with being over tired, anxious, unwell and feverish, as well as emotional changes in a child’s life, such as divorce and loss.

 

Tips to understand and manage night terrors

When a child has a night terror, they do not want comforting and if you get too close, they may unknowingly push you away. This can feel incredibly hard for parents, as they watch their child – so obviously distressed, but unable to reassure and calm them. However, it is important to remember that your child is not aware of what is happening, or of your presence, so there is little you can do except make sure your child is safe and ride the storm.

• I know it’s easy to say, but try to stay calm. Night terrors are a phase that some children go through and although not easy to watch as a bystander, they are not damaging or harmful to your child. Wait it out and only intervene gently, if your child becomes unsafe.
• Having a calm, relaxing bedtime routine leads to a restful night’s sleep. It’s a good idea to make this no longer than 45 minutes and to include elements such as a story, cuddles, dim lights and no television.
• Keep a record of when the night terrors occur. If you notice a regular pattern developing, it can be helpful to rouse your child from their deep sleep about 15-20 minutes before the predicted episode. Doing this consistently over a full week, tends to break the cycle and disturbs your child enough to prevent re-occurrence.
• Don’t be tempted to wake your child in the middle of a night terror. If woken from their deep sleep, children can often be disorientated and find it difficult to settle. They may not recognise you and become more distressed and frightened.
• If your child is having more than one night terror a night, it can be helpful to wake them once the initial night terror is over. Interrupting the sleep cycle once the initial night terror has passed, breaks the pattern and reduces the risk of it happening again.
• Some children respond to you humming or singing gently, this is unlikely to wake them but can interrupt the night terror without rousing them.
• There can be a link between night terrors and being over tired. If your child has had them in the past, making sure they get enough sleep can make a big difference.
• Be aware of your child’s emotional needs. Talking with your child about their worries can reduce anxieties and lessen the chance of a night terror occurring. Make sure this is completely separate from bedtime as if it is done too close to going to sleep, it will often heighten feelings of stress and worry for your child.

Finally, as ever, it is important to say that if the night terrors continue and are having a big impact on your child and your family, seek further advice from your GP.   

Sarah and Michelle run a company called Purple Parenting, offering positive behaviour support through individual work, groupwork and workshops. Email purpleparenting@gmail.com to arrange your free telephone consultation to help with, sleep, tantrums, fussy eating, anger, anxiety, aggression and more.